It's been such a long time since I've posted a blog about anything. I feel like recently the Lord has given me so much insight on who He is in my life as Abba. Father. Daddy. I thought I would share some things He has shown me. It's been truly wrecking and oh so beautiful. It's just too loaded for a Facebook post, so here it goes.
It all started reading Hosea. I've read this book in the Bible several times, especially after reading Redeeming Love,(If you have never read Redeeming Love go buy it, borrow it, and read it NOW).I read Hosea over and over was still trying to grasp how deep God loves me. Unimaginable love. This time though I was reading it again with a new set of eyes. I was searching for identity. I was searching for the deepest longing in my heart to be filled. To truly believe in my heart that He loves me and that He would and does buy me back over and over. Am I really worth it to Him? Am I truly worth the buying back, the dusting off, the picking back up after a nasty fall? I was wondering. I was emotionally and physically spent after relationships and circumstances that had crushed me. "God I just need to be reminded of how deep your love is for me, not as a lover but as a DAUGHTER," I said in my spirit. He led me to Hosea 2:1.
"In that day you will call your brothers Ammi-'My People.' And you will call your sisters Ruhamah-'The ones I love.'"
I stopped and tears welled up in my eyes. The ones I love. There's clearly something God is saying here about His daughters. I looked up what Ruhamah meant in Hebrew and it means an "object of compassion and tender love." Exactly what my heart was crying out for. He was saying I was an object of His compassion and tender love. ME! Us as daughters of God-WE are the objects of His deepest compassion and love. Men, don't get me wrong me you are loved dearly by our God, but God knows the daughter's deepest desires of being loved and delighted in. After all, He made us this way.
There I sat. So overwhelmed by His love for me as His daughter. I began to cry. I could feel as if He was stepping in and healing my heart. Filling it with what it was so desperately crying out for. Do you know that's how He feels about you? My sisters do you know that He rejoices over you with singing and delights in YOU. Every moment of every day He thinks of you. He's the perfect Father.
Now, we know that us humans aren't perfect, so we can't expect for our earthly fathers to be perfect, however, many of us have labeled God similar to our earthly father. Our earthly fathers may have not given us the love that we desired, but they sure tried to be the best they could with what they had been given. So, we should cut them some slack. That's what we would want right? It's time to separate the two. It's time to separate these earthly men from THE FATHER who created you in the womb and who has known you longer than anyone else.
He isn't the father who sat on the couch and tuned you out. He isn't the father who ignored you. He isn't the father who looked at you as a nuisance rather than a delight. He isn't the father that never came to your room to check on you while you cried of a broken heart. He isn't the father that left. He isn't the father who made multiple mistakes. He isn't the father that told you you weren't enough, whether through his words or his actions. He isn't the father who cheated, lied and stole. He isn't the father that left you to fend for yourself. He isn't the father who was passive. He isn't the father who was aggressive. He isn't the father that neglected and abused you. He isn't the father who blamed and pointed the finger. He isn't the father who never believed in you.
After experiences and circumstances like that we come into a broken world asking if we are loved.
We walk through life with our views of ourselves. We seek and desire this love so much that we go to long lengths to get it. And, we usually search out men to fill this hole (especially if our fathers didn't instill a deep identity in us). We measure ourselves by how we look in the mirror. We look at ourselves and say-
"If only I could change this about myself. If only I could look like that then I could catch that one boy's eye. Then I could be an object of his compassion and love. Maybe he will look my way if I do this, look like that, dress like this or give a bit of myself to him. He would really love me if I actually was desirable."
We come to find out that the boy never satisfied but only made the hole in our hearts bigger. Rejection. He couldn't fill that longing. We cry out more and lose ourselves. Men won't ever satisfy our craving to be deeply loved.
Only THE FATHER can give you what you deeply need. He is Abba. He is Daddy!
He is THE FATHER who is truly engaged with you at all times and wants to hear about every detail of your day EVEN THOUGH He already knows about it. He is THE FATHER who delights in you. He is THE FATHER who is closer than your breath picking up every tear you have ever cried. He is THE FATHER who never leaves you. He is the THE FATHER who NEVER makes mistakes. He is THE FATHER who says 'you are more than enough for Me.' He is THE FATHER who always tells the truth and gives bigger than you can imagine. He is THE FATHER who carries you in His arms and fights for you. He is THE FATHER who pursues fiercely, speaks tenderly and brings life to every situation. He is THE FATHER who builds, lifts up and ALWAYS believes in you.
Daughters know they're loved through identity, being protected and being provided for. God is the only one who can give you those to the point where they touch the deepest core of your soul and heal you inside and out. He protects, provides and gives you your identity.
I still don't have it all figured out. None of us do. But I hope through this little testimony of what He has shown me sparks something in your heart. That deep longing you have-He wants to fill it.
Ruhamah. That's one of many pet names Abba has for you. Embrace it. Rest in it. Believe your Daddy, because He never lies to you. You are the object of His compassion and tender love. Yes, YOU.
